10 things I’ve learned so far after 1 year and a half of abstinence

Well well well, here I am again to talk about sex on my little blog. I’ve noticed that when I talk about sex, I attract thousands of people out of nowhere…you guys must really like this topic huh? Don’t we all?

Can I be honest with you guys? Abstinence has opened my eyes on many things. I mean…as a girl who lovesss sex (yes I do, I am not an alien smh) I noticed how sad it is to see the place sex holds in most of our lives today. When you stop doing something for a while, you get to take a sit and really see the reality. Before, I’ve always thought that sex was a must-do and that waiting till marriage (especially for Godly reasons) was a concept full of nonsense. Yeah yeah we all know the story by now, I met God, had crazy moments of impact with Him and BOOM, Ann-Sophie the sex-freak decided to discover the beauty of letting God write a love story. Consequently, here I am discovering what there is to waiting till the big commitment before God and putting Him at the center of my love life before opening my legs. SHOCK!!! as most people reacted. I mean, about 2 years ago I would also perceive this as impossible but wow being on the seat and watching the scene makes me realize that people became so obsessed about sex that they started acting like ignorants… Yup I had to say it.And I also had to admit that before changing my perspective on things a little more than a year ago, I was also ignorant for thinking that ‘OMG, a long period with no sex?! Impossible’

Now, let me put this on the side to focus on the yummy things I’ve learned during this journey. Get some pop corn, get comfortable, let’s do this:

1- There is richness in diversity

Yes we hear it a lot, sex is good for the health and blood circulation, it glues the relationship etc.. No need to say I completely agree but you know with what I also agree? The fact that sex should be the icing on the cake. Doing things differently than what society praises as the best and normal way to do things helps you take a step back and discover great other ways to glue the relationship. One personal example is the fact that we get to plan more activities. While before my planning was ‘watch a movie and then have sex. Or probably have sex in the middle of the movie’ , we get to really enjoy other things like hum watching the whole movie and actually talk more and laugh about it after.

2- Discover tiny details about each other

Being ‘deprived’ of something for a while excites your other sense. Ever noticed how people who lose their arms can develop crazy skills like painting with their mouth? Yeah you wake up other little thing you didn’t know you had. A little kiss behind the ear can turn into a ‘OMG when did you kisses behind the ear get so good!!!” And trust me it is the amazing part of discovering more about each other. Remember the boundaries tho.

3- You actually get to talk more about the sex!

Hum YES! On the moment you probably didn’t want to tell your girl that this particularly thing hurt instead of feeling good or you didn’t want to play with your man’s ego by saying that when he does that particular thing, well..it’s not as great as he thinks it is. Come on we all lived this. Do you know that during the abstinence period you get to let these little things out on the coziness of your sofa? Simple as that. Trust me it is liberating and I bet it will improve some stuff later on. Listening more is the key

4- You get to understand the value of sex

Whether you believe in God or not, sex was created for a beautiful purpose. Make one with the person you want to give your all to. Looking back, I realized that I gave too much to people I didn’t even see a future week with. Too much time and energy ‘just for fun’. When I envision my sex life now it is with the person I know I want to have kids with, build on a solid foundation with despise the difficulties

5- Men know nothing and when you walk in purpose you get to shut down people opinion

For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.”

1 Corinthians 3:19

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

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“She laughs without fear of the future”

Galatian 1:10

Five years ago, I was the one who laughed at 20 year old virgins, now I am the one who understands why sex is supposed to be in Holy matrimony….Moral of the story. Men change opinion and what I was sure about 5 years ago is not what I understand now. Why should I base my opinion on what people say…Exactly theres no reason I should

6- I get to live what the bible teaches

It is easy to read what is written but seeing the fruits active in our lives is sweeter than honey!

7- You give sexy another meaning

Yes you can be sexy by showing your loved one your sexual skills BUT during abstinence you get to develop another kind of sexy.Plus you pay more attention to smaller details your lover cares about. It is not about “Anyways we will still have sex” it’s that “Let me just do this with my hair just because he likes it like that” “Let me shave just because she likes it like that” Not saying that with the sex you don’t pay attention to these things but getting to satisfy your significant other with just that is one of the most beautiful things

8- You get to mature faster

People tend to hide behind sex like it is some kind of trophy. Consequently, people find themselves lying about ‘What happened with this particular girl’ or ‘How the sex went with this particular guy’. Abstinence shows commitment and a certain form of maturity. Being able to say ‘I am waiting on God’s best’ is not always easy and going through God’s trials and testings for the relationship even when you are already 99.7% sure the person is ‘the one’ is an act of faith and discipline. And trust me it is not as painful as it sounds. My boyfriend and I went to eat out this week-end and he asked an interesting question: “Babe it’s crazy, why is the first question most young men ask is ‘Did you hit that’ I mean why is it the main focus”. I was happy to hear him ask such a question and I wonder the same thing. Well I’d say because people just need to grow.

9- Abstinence is a choice and should never be imposed

Going through this verse I realized that abstinence is better because of all the sexual immorality going on in the world. As Paul said it is better that each man has his wife and each wife has her husband because of all the temptation in the world.

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:2

Because of all the sexual immorality in the world and our weaknesses towards them it will always be better to follow God’s way, which was meant to protect us not harm us or punish us. However, one must develop a relationship with God in order to value these principles. This is why I strongly believe that the concept of waiting till marriage can only be suggested and explained but not forced!

10- You won’t die if you don’t have sex

surprise surprise 🙂

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2 thoughts on “10 things I’ve learned so far after 1 year and a half of abstinence

  1. How do you really manage not being tempted. I know sex can be in different forms. There are rubbing, intercourses etc etc etc… Many people think that sex is just intercourse while making out is a part of sex. How do you manage resisting making out?

    Liked by 1 person

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