As a 20something young soul, you are in a stage of your life where you want to explore and discover. You seize every opportunity you have to see more, do more and be more. And this is exactly how it should be!
You are in a period of transformation, you are evolving and learning. You start to wonder what is really happening at the other side of the world. You become curious. Among all of these beautiful things, you might also be living a love story. And yes you knew it would probably be better to wait till you are more stable to be with someone but everything happened all at once and you find yourself in a relationship at a period when you will have to move around the globe. So you wonder if this was such a good idea but at the same time, you don’t want to end a wonderful story. Plus you heard it might work…
My boyfriend and I started our relationship as a long distance. I came home one summer (3years ago) and our summer fling never ended. Yeah you get the picture. I was leaving at the end of a beautiful summer, we decided to leave things there, we failed at leaving it there and here we are, leaving in the same country 3 years later. But before this, I had to study abroad, volunteer and also just go to college away from home.
As hard as a long distance relationship can be sometimes, it can turn out to be the best test! Here are the perks:
1- It helps you see if you value each other enough.
Different time zones can be a pain in the butt. But what I realized is that they can also turn into an excuse. When you guys truly value the relationship you will try to find a way while in the other case you will just end up making no efforts. It will not be possible to do so every day but trust me, you will know when the efforts aren’t being made.
2- It builds trust
Long distance requires trust! It is so easy to go study abroad and have a little fling with someone while your boyfriend or girlfriend back home will never know!! But you will get to see if you become a paranoid when she/he is abroad or if you realize that you are weirdly really comfortable. And you who are abroad, you get to see if you are really content with who you have back home.
3- You get to experience what it is like to be reunited
This might seem like a corny point but yes it is a wonderful feeling! It is this moment your hands touch and you realize “Man! I missed him/her !”
4- You learn how to “want” each other and not “need” each other.
Long distance teach you how to have your independence and “do your thing”. You learn how to evolve separately while loving and cherishing each other deeply. It is a period where you can evolve separately and really see if who you guys are becoming fit together or if the differences just doesn’t work. It’s like becoming who you should be and inviting someone to really join later on rather than compromising too soon and dealing with the consequences later on.
5- It puts your love through fire.
Yes. Distance has this way of killing relationships. That’s why most people are afraid of it. I had one experience where it didn’t pass the test but the right one sure did! With distance, non solid foundation fails while the more solid ones gets worked on through the fire. The obstacles are here to see who really wants it and I guarantee long distance is one of these obstacles.
If you are debating whether or not to go for it, I say Go. It’s either you loose the person and realize the relationship didn’t pass this test or you win and grow stronger. If the long distance is just for a while, try it out! In my opinion, it is a great test and can only make your love grow stronger for the right one. Besides, there are ways of seeing each other between christmas breaks and summers! Save up and fly to see each other 😉