Don’t despise the days of small beginnings

Today was literally perfect. You know these days when everything goes smoothly? Ya it was one of those.

As you know now, my retreat is a few hours away and who knows, it might be the angels keeping me from any kind of anger. I am guarding my heart before the big day 1. My parents are already over there preparing the house for us and all of the participants are ready. In one word, I feel blessed. I am so grateful that for the next three days I will get to talk about what God put on my heart with not only strangers but also my parents, my sister, my boyfriend and friends who will all be participants. It actually IS a big deal.

Not only is the retreat ready, I had a Skype meeting today with a representant of World Vision international. They were looking for a young adult to come along with them for a hunger project in Cap-Haitien and this girl to whom I had sent my resume about a month ago just in case she had something for me, chose me for this position. He seems like the kind of person I will love to work with. He seems passionate and kind-hearted. This is not the best part! He followed my blog and I got to follow his wife and his blog where they talk about family, values, travel and their mission in life. They are christian, strong believers in the love of Christ. Again, I know it is God working on something. For those 2 1/1 days I will get to write articles and talk to people of the city dealing with hunger, sharing the stories and help bring awareness. For those of you who know me well, this is what I call heaven!

Let’s keep going. My boyfriend called to say that he got the raise he worked so hard for!!! As you can guess, we are both extremely happy today.

Where I want to go with all of this is that, it is not the fact that everything went perfectly that is important here but the fact that all of these situations show a small beginning, a step forward. I came back to Haïti less than 3 months ago and I started an internship at UNDP. Unfortunately it was not what I was looking for. At least, the department where they placed me was not. I had to trust my gut and leave after a month because I am a strong believer in purpose and I refuse to waste my time. Even though the internship was part of the process (God used it to show me some things), He also didn’t want me to stay for too long, so I had to move on. Since then, I’ve been focusing on the final stages of my book ‘Daughters and sons of The King’ coming out soon, preparing my retreat, writing on my blog, planning a trip for a client, and actively searching the face of God at a period where He was silent and asking me to simply trust Him and work on the portion I had for now…. mysterious man.

My boyfriend on the other hand, was working harder during that period. He is the kind to strive for excellence in everything he does. (you will go far in life. Just so you know). I won’t go into details but he worked and deserved it hands down.

Through this period we went through all kinds of emotions. My 3 day (if not more) breakdown a month ago, when I started to have pressure about the retreat, lacking money, my savings going down. I cried almost every day for 3-4 days straight, always finding something wrong with everything. I was a mess. And through it all God was silent, asking me to trust… It is not always easy to stay still when the world seems to be spinning. I eventually got back on track (pretty fast I must say). We all have break downs. The important thing is to know when to let it out and when to get up and keep moving. Through that time, we’ve supported each other. I did my best to be supportive at the time he left work really late by waiting for him to eat at my house or sending him a little note at lunch like I did yesterday. He, on the other hand knew how to handle my breakdown. Looking back, I don’t know how he did it! I was a pain… He remained calm and he listened, telling me that God had my back.

Now, everything seems to be falling into place. I am writing part-time for a newspaper and I have this feeling that my career started before I even realized it and for some reason, everything seems to be directing me in a place where I have to write. Remember in my post ‘Why I write’ when I talked about that night when God made me get out of bed to write something? Yeah seems like He really wants me to write a lot. Let’s wait and see.

It is not like we didn’t know it would all work out but going through the rough season can be challenging especially if you don’t have any support. By support, I mean prayer first and then support of friends or family. Looking at us today, I can say it is a humble beginning. But the passion we have for our dreams makes me 100% sure that we will go far. I know that in this life, if we humble ourselves enough to trust God when nothing seems to be happening, He will help us have joy through the season. He will sustain us and by the time the blessing comes, it will just seem like a bonus because we will already be filled with the joy and confidence of Christ.

Don’t despise the days of small beginnings for they prepare us for the blessings God has in store for us. However, there is a time for everything and we can’t be polished (prepared) if we reject the rubbling. A seed has to be planted in dirt before it sees the light and grows.