Letter to the old me

Dear Ann-Sophie,

It’s been a long ride. Even though you are still very young, we’ve seen and experienced many things together. I must say, I am proud of who you are becoming. You are still a little insane and most of the time a little ball of fire but we both know that under all of this, you grew a lot. I enjoyed spending time alone with you during our travels… Even though we were never really alone since God always had a hand on us this whole time, it was nice spending time with you. A few days ago, a friend of mine proposed that I write a letter to you, my old self just to realize how much things have changed. I know you are surprised to see me now. One year ago, you didn’t know that this is what the future you would look like huh? I am quite amazed too. I can’t believe that less than a year ago, we didn’t know what our purpose truly was. God has an amazing way of starting something with you and just set you on fire for this vision He gives you…Strange man I know.

Before I keep moving forward with my letter, I want you to know that I will always be close to you. Looking at you teaches me humility. I don’t ever try to pretend that I am this perfect individual. I simply look back at you and smile because you show me that God, He changes. God saves bruh! 

And I know that things haven’t always been easy for you and I know that you wondered at some point if you were meant to suffer. I know that when you were diagnosed with lupus you cried your heart out in the school bathroom and wondered why things were so messed up. I know that at some point, you didn’t see love or sex as you used to because you never wanted to feel like you once felt 4 years ago. I know that at some point, you were broken inside. It was just so many things at once…I know, I remember.

What changed now? So many things right? People say you’ve changed and you can’t explain how it happened. You just remember God calling you in your little apartment. You remember the spiritual changes happening one day after another. You remember discovering your purpose one dream after another. You were wondering what was happening to you. Remember? You started asking God about so many things you didn’t find important before and in the middle of it all, you found this surnatural peace and confidence. It was like, you suddenly knew with every bone in your body, who God wanted you to be. And I know that at the time you wondered why you…you are not deserving. But God….

People started coming to you for prayer. It was like this force dragging the broken to you. And you wondered why God trusted you with His children like this…Did you even have enough wisdom anyways?

God showed you that:

1-You are enough

You are enough. Not because of who you are but because of who you are in Christ. When He puts His hand on you, nothing will ever be the same. He gives another name. Hurt is transformed into peace. Doubt becomes confidence and quiet time turns into love.

2- Sometimes, your trials become your ministry

Anything you go through, will later make more sense and will help bring hope to others.  God taught you that the main purpose of human lives, is to love one another, help each other and grow together. Remember that terrible incident in 2012? It sure helped many people now huh? Who would have thought

3- You are more than you think you are

Its is no longer you but Christ who lives in you like Paul said in the bible. You’ve learned that anything you cannot do, God can do. You now believe in the impossible and make people feel like anything is possible. Some think you are too naive because you are young and you don’t know the ‘real struggles’ but you know that the world belongs to those who  have God-sized dreams.

4- You are here to love not to judge

You are not here to judge people but to be there for them. People won’t let you help at first because they will see you as this perfect girl who has it all together. They don’t know that, even now, you struggle with your trust in God just like them. They don’t know that in silent seasons, you cry asking God to talk to you. They don’t know that you learn while teaching them. Love unconditionally and if people hate you, love even harder.

5- Let God write your love story

God knows you more than you’ll ever know yourself. And that makes Him the perfect force to create your love story. Whatever happened in the past, know that…if you listen to Him and wait on Him, you will be amazed.

There are so many other things that you’ve learned and you are far from knowing it all. Never forget to remember that you know nothing. Let God surprise you. Keep the faith up, keep walking. I am proud of you.




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