I’ve been wanting to write this post but i always felt like i wasn’t ready. I guess i’m writing it now because i feel ‘ready’ if there is such thing as being ready. I don’t really believe in being ready. I see everything in life as a ‘deep breath…GO’
I know many many ‘ladies’ will hate me for this post. Well, hate is a strong word. Let’s say i’m going to get the ‘who do you think you are’ face. lol. Just so you know, i do not care at all 🙂
Girls, this is just a ladies talk. let’s see it as a conversation between two friends. I am just asking myself when being a side chick or a ‘bad b****’ became a good thing. Seriously, i ask myself: When did girls began to pull themselves down like this.
I really don’t know how to start this, I am just writing and letting my thoughts flow. If today you could meet yourself as a little child, would that child be proud of the woman you are becoming? Or would she ask herself what could’ve possibly happen to make you act and think like this.
listen, I am not writing this to lecture anybody.At some point in my life i was the one who said ‘If a guy wants to cheat on his girl with you, it’s ok, you’re not the one being cheated on’ lol. sigh. What was i thinking? Not that i was practicing it, but i didn’t really see the wrong in being the other girl if you were doing it just for fun and if you didn’t know the girlfriend. Pure ignorance.
If we are going to have a serious talk i can’t hide the bad sides and pretend i was perfect. I am being honest here and even if it is way in the past now, i should tell you how things were before.
I don’t care what society made you think. I don’t care what is ‘cool’, what is modern. Wrong is wrong even if everybody’s doing it and right is right EVEN IF YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE DOING IT. Don’t ever be afraid to walk alone, to not be ‘cool’. smh. Nowadays people will think you are weird if you are faithful (especially guys) because it is ‘normal’ to cheat on your girlfriend right? Because when you get married you will only have sex with her right? so now is the time to experience right? LOL. (seriously people)
Let me tell you something, and i don’t care if you think i don’t know what i’m talking about because i am young, ‘you don’t know the real world’ ‘Men are dogs’ CUT IT right now. Listen to yourself a second. First of all, men are acting like dogs because everybody seems to be ok with the idea. People treat each other like pieces of meat. And the sad part is that you accept it. You think it’s ‘normal’. GIRL, you need to know that respect starts with YOURSELF. Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? A piece of meat? That anybody can taste? A door lock that can be opened by ANY key? And suddenly you start posting these post on instagram about how ‘I aint no side chick, you have 2 girlfriends’ or ‘If a man cheated on Halle Barry what makes you think you are safe?’ And all this crap i cannot stand!
What you say about yourself is what will reflect. So you are always walking around, posting these pictures almost naked, ready to kill yourself if you only get 40 likes, talking about how all men are dogs, talking bad about good relationships, thinking that NO man can wait till marriage to have sex (hm hm) and then you expect to find a great relationship, to find a man who respects you, who sees the beauty in you, who is ready to support you, who is ready to prove that all men are not dogs. As a matter of fact, no man should be treated as such. Yes some do some realllllyyyy nasty things but don’t go around talking about how all are the same.
GIRL, sit down for a second. You have been created for greatness. Don’t ever think that what you did in the past can keep you in a cage. ‘what will people say?’ ‘They won’t believe i just changed like that’ ‘they will think i’m fake’ WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK. And trust me, the people who are laughing at your choices now are the ones who will come knocking at your door, asking for advice. TRUST ME.
It doesn’t matter if you once were the girl who slept with 9 guys. The girl was passed around between 5 friends. The day you realize your worth is the day you will be able to leave it all behind and start fresh. Yes people will say you are fake, yes people will remember what you did. Just live now in a way that nobody will believe you did these things in the past. You were created to be a wonderful woman. You are the head and not the tail. Everything you touch will prosper. So start touching, start walking, start living like a champion, like a soldier.
You know, i realized something. Behind EVERY man i admire, every wonderful pastor i look up to, is an amazing wife. YES. All of them. Victoria Osteen, Heather Lindsey… You were created to be the guardian of your home. If God says so, it must be true. You will build your home, you will help your husband lead properly. How can you do that if you see yourself as the bad b**** who will never find a good man because all men are the same.
Stop downgrading yourself. If only you loved yourself like God loves you, you would realize that you are worth way more than gold.
If you are in a toxic relationship right now, don’t ignore the signals. Deep down you know you need to end it, you just pretend that you don’t see it.
Some people come to me saying: ‘Can you teach me how to pray? I prayed but God didn’t listen’ NO girl He answered, you pretented you didn’t understand and now you wonder why nothing works out. He told you what to do! YOU DIDN’T LISTEN. You know he is cheating on you but you give him some time because he will change. lol. Sounds silly right? Yup that is exactly what you are doing.
You are not a toy. You are not a piece of meat. You deserve a man who will do anything to show you that He DESERVES you. A man who will look at you and want you. Not you and the little chick at the party last night. Of course he will think some girls are pretty, but it will stop there. Believe me. He will make sacrifices, he will try to understand what he doesn’t because he will know that if you want it, it must be right. He will talk about you in a way that lifts you up. His friends will know about you and how great you are. Maybe he won’t tell you, but he talks about you 😉 And one day a friend will say something by accident and you will know lol
He will make you love everything you didn’t like so much about yourself. But be careful. I am not saying he is the one who should make you realize how special you are. You must know that! He will just take it further. You know this is what you want. So why do you keep putting yourself on the market? ‘Christy for sale: 50% off” ‘If you pass it to a friend he can get the special discount’
JUT STOP IT. Can someone please bring QUEENS back? Where are the Queens? The leaders, the lions.
Ever noticed how you can post a picture in a bikini and get 200 likes, but post something about values and get 13 likes haha. Just saying girl. You are you letting in right now? Does that person deserves to be in? Start putting some standards and TRUST ME, the right person will do ANYTHING to show you he will work with these standards. He will still want to be with you, even if he doesn’t understand everything. He will not walk away. If you don’t build standards because you are afraid he will walk away, this already proves you know he is not the one. Don’t be afraid to do what you know is right. but when a man starts doing all thee things for you, don’t treat him like he is nothing, don’t doubt him, don’t sit there expecting him to mess up. Yes some privileges must be kept until you two are married BUT you should start loving him the right way now, showing him that you respect him, that you love him, that you see all his efforts, that he is handsome (lol they love that) ‘Aw babe you are so cute today’ lol.
I truly believe any girl can become an amazing woman if she starts working on her self-esteem. Don’t listen to the girl at school pressuring you to do something you will regret just because it is time and everybody is doing it. I used to think that it was a little weird to be a virgin at 22 or 23. Believe me, it’s beautiful. Embrace it. And even if you are not anymore, it is never too late to do it right 😉
If nobody told you before, you are beautiful , you are smart, you are a lady, you are destined for great things, you cannot let anybody in, guard yourself, guard your heart. Surround yourself with good examples. Why would you take advice from someone who is getting divorced for the 4th time, and now, that person wants to tell you how men are dogs. Don’t contaminate your mind. Instead focus on what you want for yourself. I personally really love the description that God gives for marriage in Ephesian5. If you are not there yet (reading your bible ect) Just start looking at good examples. Believe it or not there are many great examples in our generation. You don’t now them because you are too focused on Shalika who just got beaten up by her fiancé. Just stop reading these things. Focus focus.